Today I am excited to introduce you to Rhonda, my own mother! Who better to give mothering advice, than one's own mother? My mom is a wise, wonderful Christian woman who I know did her best in parenting my brother and I. She gave me a love for reading, encouraged my writing at a young age, and has been extremely supportive as I have entered into motherhood. You will shortly see for yourself just how influential my mother is - let her words encourage and lift you up. Understand that motherhood is not something to take lightly, but it is not for the perfect woman either - mothering requires that you allow yourself grace in those moments that don't always go according to plan.
What age did you become a mother? And how many children do you have? (Yes, obviously I know all of these!)
I became a mother at the age of 22 and have two children, a daughter and son.
What has been the most surprising part of being a mother?
There are so many surprises to being a mom… Some belong to the indignities and triumphs of childbirth, some to the late night epiphanies while rocking a sick or cranky child and so, so many to the day in and day out of child rearing, but perhaps the initial surprise I had was how passionately I loved my babies from the first minute, no, the first second that I saw them. I knew before they were born that I loved them. We had had nine months to be falling in love, but I didn’t realize how strong that love would be. When I saw them, before even touching them, I knew that I wanted to protect them from as much harm as possible, that their joy would be added to my joy and that I needed to be the best me I could be for their sake. No other initial meeting has ever impacted me like the moment I met my children.
What is something you have done as a mother that you thought you would never do?
Like every mom there are LOTS of thing that I've done that I never thought I would, but the one that really stands out to me is that I NEVER thought I’d talk to my son through thick security glass while he sat on the other side in an orange jail jump suit. Never. Not ever. While a moment like that shatters a piece of you, it is also very revealing. When our world seems to turn upside down, God is still in control. A moment doesn't define who we are, who our child is or our success as a parent. Remember that when life gives you things that you didn't plan for.
What is one of the greatest things you have learned through motherhood?
When I became a new mom I heard the same things as most new moms- warnings about the ‘terrible twos’ and ‘those teenage years’. I can’t say that either of those were actually warning worthy. I wish that I’d been warned about Free Will. I wish that someone had said ‘you can read every book/article that you come across, enroll your child in as many dance/scouts/music/sports teams as you like, involve them in church, introduce them to Christ and model desirable behavior, but due to Free Will there is a likelihood that one day, in a small way (you’re a member of WHAT political party?) or a large one, you will probably mourn a decision made by your child when they exercise their Free Will. I’ve had far more sleepless nights worrying about the decisions of a child than I EVER had with an upset two year old or any teenage drama. I’m not sure that there’s much parenting I could have or would have done differently if I’d been forewarned, but perhaps I would have felt more compassion for others when I saw the choices made by children instead of first considering whether or not the parent had done something wrong…When I look at a misbehaving, confused or wayward child/adult now, my first thought is that they have a mother somewhere that loves them and a Heavenly Father that loves them even more.
What advice would you give a new mom?
There are several pieces of advice that I’d like new mothers to hear….Enjoy each and every day with your child-the good ones, the bad one- ALL of them. I know that some are rough and you’re tired, but don’t overlook the blessing of motherhood. I think that it is a mistake to wish away any stage of childhood, because you don’t get them back. We all want a good night’s sleep and to say goodbye to diapers, but in the big scheme of things, those sleepless nights and diaper changes will only be a moment. Breathe in that baby smell and enjoy the baby softness while it’s there. Enjoy the toddler sweetness after you’ve endured the tantrum, and laugh at the goofy joke told by the sometimes mouthy adolescent. It really is wonderful. Parenting is tough. There’s no book you can read or expert that you can consult that knows all of the answers for your child. Trust yourself. You’re their expert. God in His infinite wisdom chose you to be the mother of your child, because you are perfect for your child. I’m not saying that you’ll be perfect or feel perfect, but I am saying that our Heavenly Father knew everything that your child would need and you were His top choice to meet those needs. It doesn’t get much better than that! Through it all, don’t compare yourself to other moms or your child to theirs. Theodore Roosevelt couldn’t have said it better when he said ‘comparison is the thief of joy’. Don’t let the glimpse you get of someone else’s life steal the joy that is yours.
I became a mother at the age of 22 and have two children, a daughter and son.
What has been the most surprising part of being a mother?
There are so many surprises to being a mom… Some belong to the indignities and triumphs of childbirth, some to the late night epiphanies while rocking a sick or cranky child and so, so many to the day in and day out of child rearing, but perhaps the initial surprise I had was how passionately I loved my babies from the first minute, no, the first second that I saw them. I knew before they were born that I loved them. We had had nine months to be falling in love, but I didn’t realize how strong that love would be. When I saw them, before even touching them, I knew that I wanted to protect them from as much harm as possible, that their joy would be added to my joy and that I needed to be the best me I could be for their sake. No other initial meeting has ever impacted me like the moment I met my children.
What is something you have done as a mother that you thought you would never do?
Like every mom there are LOTS of thing that I've done that I never thought I would, but the one that really stands out to me is that I NEVER thought I’d talk to my son through thick security glass while he sat on the other side in an orange jail jump suit. Never. Not ever. While a moment like that shatters a piece of you, it is also very revealing. When our world seems to turn upside down, God is still in control. A moment doesn't define who we are, who our child is or our success as a parent. Remember that when life gives you things that you didn't plan for.
What is one of the greatest things you have learned through motherhood?
When I became a new mom I heard the same things as most new moms- warnings about the ‘terrible twos’ and ‘those teenage years’. I can’t say that either of those were actually warning worthy. I wish that I’d been warned about Free Will. I wish that someone had said ‘you can read every book/article that you come across, enroll your child in as many dance/scouts/music/sports teams as you like, involve them in church, introduce them to Christ and model desirable behavior, but due to Free Will there is a likelihood that one day, in a small way (you’re a member of WHAT political party?) or a large one, you will probably mourn a decision made by your child when they exercise their Free Will. I’ve had far more sleepless nights worrying about the decisions of a child than I EVER had with an upset two year old or any teenage drama. I’m not sure that there’s much parenting I could have or would have done differently if I’d been forewarned, but perhaps I would have felt more compassion for others when I saw the choices made by children instead of first considering whether or not the parent had done something wrong…When I look at a misbehaving, confused or wayward child/adult now, my first thought is that they have a mother somewhere that loves them and a Heavenly Father that loves them even more.
What advice would you give a new mom?
There are several pieces of advice that I’d like new mothers to hear….Enjoy each and every day with your child-the good ones, the bad one- ALL of them. I know that some are rough and you’re tired, but don’t overlook the blessing of motherhood. I think that it is a mistake to wish away any stage of childhood, because you don’t get them back. We all want a good night’s sleep and to say goodbye to diapers, but in the big scheme of things, those sleepless nights and diaper changes will only be a moment. Breathe in that baby smell and enjoy the baby softness while it’s there. Enjoy the toddler sweetness after you’ve endured the tantrum, and laugh at the goofy joke told by the sometimes mouthy adolescent. It really is wonderful. Parenting is tough. There’s no book you can read or expert that you can consult that knows all of the answers for your child. Trust yourself. You’re their expert. God in His infinite wisdom chose you to be the mother of your child, because you are perfect for your child. I’m not saying that you’ll be perfect or feel perfect, but I am saying that our Heavenly Father knew everything that your child would need and you were His top choice to meet those needs. It doesn’t get much better than that! Through it all, don’t compare yourself to other moms or your child to theirs. Theodore Roosevelt couldn’t have said it better when he said ‘comparison is the thief of joy’. Don’t let the glimpse you get of someone else’s life steal the joy that is yours.